Monday, 2 July 2012
How the Looner Community Influences your Fetish
So I was reading about Newphiles and Truephiles. I myself started drafting a post about 'who is a real looner?' but this post got me thinking on another tangent.That is: What influence the looner community has on my own fetish.
I believe my first exposure to others (aside from fetish porn) was the UK Looners forum. At the time, you did not have to join to be a member, so I didn't for a long time. I think this was about in 2007-2008. I actually decided to join in 2010, and I also started uploading some of my videos to youtube then too. This put me in contact with other looners for the first time. And a lot has changed since then!
The biggest problem is that for the first 20 years of my life, I was denying the fetish and I did not purposely pursuiting it. Balloons popping was scary + 'masturbating is disgusting' = balloon cock block. At this time, it was sitting on balloons and inflatables. I liked to see others do the same. This is just from experiences of not intentionally sexual games involving balloons and inflatables. You can read a few examples in my previous post. Then I found the 'porn'. I basically liked to watch people ride balloons. I can't remember what I was searching 'sitting on balloons' or 'humping balloons'. I knew what I liked, so I searched for it. With these videos, I liked sitting and riding on balloons while watching others do the same. So this was when I was not in contact with any other looner, although there were video comments on youtube. I don't think I've even heard of the term 'looner' at this stage. I can't remember if I came across it on the videos. This was more something I found on the forums.
Then I joined UK looners. Started making my own youtube videos and later on made a looner facebook account. And I have messaged with a lot of looners now as well as viewed and participated in public discussion on the fetish. And I am still aroused by sitting on and riding balloons, and watching others do it, nothing has changed there! I am even still nervous and get startled by the pop. But there have been some changes.
The biggest 'change' I think is the development of balloon preference. In the beginning, it didn't matter what type of balloon I had. Maybe I just varied the amount of inflation, usually preferring under inflated. I was also embarrassed to buy balloons until recently. Still kind of am, but most of the shopping I do is online anyway. But I got what I got basically. But people were talking about Qualatex and Tuff Tex and I had no idea what they were on about. And I really didn't care much either. But with balloons from the supermarket, I did have a preference. These balloons were softer, but contained enough air pressure and had more neck then the other two or so brands they have. Whatever, they just felt better to sit on. So going by that, I decided I would shop around online for different brands. I discussed what would be a good non popping balloon. And I put in my order for a variety of balloons. I also started paying attention to the type of balloons used in videos. Indeed, some balloons were 'sexier ' than others.
The attraction to the neck is something else introduced by the community. Kind of. Part of my attraction to balloons is the way they are deformed before they pop. But there must also be the increase in air pressure, so a greatly under inflated balloon won't do. Part of this deformation is more air in the neck. Although I didn't actually pay attention to this until people were talking about it.
The most important influence is confidence and acceptance. Nobody has said anything directly to me, but simply interacting with others about the fetish made me accept it as part of me. Yeah, I know that I should not have to rely on others to validate my feelings. But should not, could not, would not - whatever this is the way it is and I think this is the way humans operate whether we like it or not. Although it is hard to say exactly what influence the community had on this vs my own maturity. For example, the acknowledgement that 'I am sexually attracted to balloons' came about because of maturity (I use the word 'maturity' in the sense that it is something that has developed over time NOT as a synonym for wisdom). But the 'I am sexually attracted to balloons and that's okay', I think the community had a part to play.
So, those are the ways in which exposure to other looners have influenced me. How has it influenced your fetish? Would you be doing the same things if you thought you were alone? And what were you doing when you did think you were alone - when did you find out there were others?